Sparks of Light
by Terminally Introverted
Summary: In a world turned dark, all one can do is search for light, no matter how fleeting.


**_My surprise for hitting 666 followers on tumblr. This will be a series of short chapters, all happening simultaneously, each focusing on one pairing._**

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><p><em>Chapter 1- One, Two, Three<em>

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><p><em>For Kiku, it was a simple decision.<em>

Kiku was not sure why he was running. He did not have a destination, did not have a purpose. A fleeting voice in the back of his mind told him he was looking for someone. Just like everything else, who that was could not be determined. Maybe he was looking for Ludwig and Feliciano, who had had lost hours ago. It would not be unreasonable to look for his brother. For a brief second in the midst of his hysteria, Kiku wondered if he was simply looking for himself.

But when he saw him, he realized that was at least partially true.

Seeing him was like watching a rose spontaneously burst from the concrete. Kiku had lost hope of seeing him again. For his own sake, he forced himself to accept he had likely been slaughtered by the infected, tried to forget the possibility that he might be one of them. Yet there he was, sitting among the destruction as if it did not bother him, as if he was untouchable. Maybe he was. It was the only explanation.

"Heracles," said Kiku, breathless and unbelieving. For a moment he just stared, his pulse racing and his mind numb. He stared, forcing himself to wait for him to disappear like smoke and be ripped away, just like everything else in Kiku's life he once thought would be there forever. _One…two…three…_

But moments later he was still there, stray cats at his feet and a storm in his eyes.

So Kiku ran again. This time, he had a destination. He had found his purpose. "Heracles." The dead, broken world burst into vibrant color again when Kiku reached him, wild joy he no longer thought possible erupting in him. Heracles embraced him and things were right again. Contact this intimate once felt foreign, too close. Now it was as normal and necessary as breathing. Now that time was borrowed, it was everything. "Why are you here? How…you…" His voice faded out, words indistinguishable. They hardly even mattered.

Heracles ran trembling, dirty hands through Kiku's hair. His once immaculate white shirt was torn and discolored. Instead of being clear and untroubled, his pale green eyes were bloodshot and dark. He looked about ten years older, but that was not uncommon now. He said only one thing. "I thought you were dead."

The grimness did not even matter. Kiku nearly smiled when he heard his voice, remembered how blunt he could be. Since the beginning of the end, nothing made sense. Heracles had never made much sense before, but now, he was just about the only thing that did. "Well, I am alive," said Kiku. For the first time in awhile, he was happy about that. Concern replaced happiness rather quickly. "What are you doing here? You should not be out in the open."

Heracles almost smiled. Almost. "Neither should you."

"I know." Kiku looked around instinctually, watching for the infected. Somehow, there were none around. Just like this moment, it was a rare spark of light in a world turned dark. He knew it would not last. "We should find shelter."

Conflict flooded Heracles's eyes as he tore his gaze from Kiku and looked over his head, into the ruined world. "Kiku…" His voice faded out. He blinked away a grimace and their eyes locked again. "Are you sure you want to find shelter?"

Kiku had no time to express or even feel confusion. He had barely even registered they were together before Heracles took his hand, leaned next to his ear, and started whispering. While Kiku stood still, too shocked to do anything else, Heracles spoke without pausing. He whispered promises, plans, and he sounded confident in all of it even if his voice wavered around the words. Kiku could not tell if his words were ugly or beautiful, if they horrified him or left him feeling relieved.

When he finally pulled back and looked at Kiku, his eyes holding both unsaid apologies and asking for permission, Kiku felt far too calm. Still, he said, "I'm scared," because he knew that was what he should be feeling. Somewhere in the distance, someone screamed, a building broke into shambles. It was as though the world was begging them to do all he said.

"I know. So am I." But Heracles hardly looked scared. If anything, he looked as though he had already resigned to it all. It was not out of character, Kiku supposed. Heracles had always believed in fate, always looked forward to 'next lives' and speculated about previous ones. At one point, he was convinced Kiku had spent a good chunk of a past life taking care of him, and the next among the stars. He had spent hours talking about it, and Kiku simply listened. His ranting was always bizarre, just as much as it was strangely beautiful. Still, out of all the bizarre things he had spoken about, this was truly the most terrifying. In some sick, unfair way, it also made the most sense.

Heracles cut through the threatening silence. "It is your decision, Kiku." He sounded calm, just like he always did. It hardly fit the circumstance or the unspoken question. God, it was such a loaded question…

Kiku closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to collect himself. This was the most important decision he would ever make. In fact, it would be his last. And he had to make it without a second thought. For once, he did not allow himself to overthink it. He gave himself only seconds to choose. _One…two…three…_ "Okay. I will go with you." Kiku's voice broke, but he was sincere. While living in a muck of uncertainty, he had to be sure about something.

"Okay." For a long moment, Heracles did nothing, said nothing. It was not hard to tell he was hesitant. Anyone would be. Finally, he took Kiku's hand and took a careful step forward. "Follow me." As if Kiku had a choice. He watched Heracles's eyes fill with something much stronger than guilt while they walked away, leaving the forgotten cats mewing at their backs. Eventually, he tore his eyes away, made a strangled sound, and quickened his steps dramatically. Kiku held tighter to his hand.

Again, Kiku lost his destination. He was only partially aware of the purpose they now shared. All he could do was trust Heracles, believe he somehow knew what was best for the both of them even though that thing might not exist anymore. During the time they spent together, Kiku found himself doing exactly that more often than not. Heracles was constantly making things better, even perfect, with things as simple as a smile or a quote by an old philosopher. But he could not make anything perfect anymore. Nobody could.

But Heracles was still trying. "Try not to look at the ground."

Despite the words, Kiku immediately looked away from Heracles and did exactly that- and immediately wished he hadn't. All around him were remnants of life. Whether they were building or bodies, their identities were indistinguishable. Since all of it had started, everything had run together like paint down a drain. Family, friends, life…all of it was destroyed, dark, dead. Kiku quickly looked away and tried to focus on the spark of light holding his hand. "Where are we going?" he asked as if it mattered.

Heracles sighed softy. It was almost a laugh. "I don't know."

So they kept walking, the same way they did when the sky was blue not red, and for a few minutes it almost felt the same. They did not have a destination or purpose when they would go on walks before, either. However Kiku did not remember glancing to the side so often back then, nor did he flinch so severely at every sound. But he remembered how Heracles's hand felt in his, soft and strong and reassuring. He clung to the familiarity like fresh air when the sky was heavy and dying.

"I am glad I found you." Kiku had never meant anything more sincerely, but he felt as if he was not saying enough. He should have been speaking enough to fill a novel, but he could not find the words. He felt both too much and too little.

But Heracles always felt too much, though he hardly ever showed it. "So am I." This time he showed it. He pulled Kiku against his side and wrapped his arm around his waist as if he was afraid he would lose him. Maybe he was. Maybe that was why there were tears in his eyes, why his hand shook when he pointed in the distance. "Look, Kiku." Kiku followed his gaze and saw a lone building, one of the few left standing in the decimated city. "I think that one may be…tall enough." Heracles's voice shook, and then broke to pieces like everything else. His hand tensed around his waist.

"I think so too." Kiku wondered how it had come to this. The sight of the building suddenly burned his eyes and blurred his vision, so he looked away. For a moment he considered telling Heracles he had changed his mind, that he did not want to do this, but then he looked around and realized there was nothing left for them here. They had already reached the end. The only thing left to do was go through with it physically. His stomach dropped to his feet, and he detached himself from his words. "Let's go."

Heracles took a long breath. "Okay."

Climbing the staircase was difficult. The materials were crumbling, some steps missing entirely. Kiku did not feel in his body. It was as if he was watching them do this, or he was lost in a terrible, hyper realistic nightmare. He could barely feel Heracles's hand anymore. The only thing that managed to shock him back into reality was the harsh winds hitting his face when he reached the top. "We are here." The words came out in a harsh, unbelieving whisper. So this was it.

"We are." Heracles shut the door leading to the roof with far more care than necessary, even though it was about ready to fall off the hinges. He was stalling. It was not hard to tell. His hair blew around his shoulders as he looked out into the city, his eyes hard and his face white. "This is quite the view."

Kiku was almost afraid to look. He did not want to see the destruction, the faces of the infected and the blood of the innocent. He continued to look into Heracles's eyes, desperate for an escape, but he could not stand to see the tears either. So instead he looked reluctantly into the murky sky, over the tops of fallen homes and broken lives. At one point, this view was probably a beautiful one. Now, it told stories better left hidden. Kiku only lasted a few moments before his chest swelled unbearably with grief and fear. He could not help but ask, "Are you sure about this?"

Heracles parted his lips as if to speak only to close them. He always moved in slow motion, and this day was not an exception. "No," he said finally, honest and raw and pure. "But there is no choice." There was no mistaking that crack in his voice. His face pinched, and he quickly looked away. Though subtle, it was just about the strongest emotion Kiku had ever seen him express. Heracles's emotions were an iceberg- little to see on the surface, but complex and massive beneath it.

Unsure what else to do, Kiku reached forward and tentatively touched his arms. "You always spoke about other lives." He looked up and attempted something that was nearly a smile. He just about succeeded. "This is not the end."

Slowly, Heracles looked back at him. "You always know what to say," he said. "I think I miss you already."

"What an odd thing to say." But Kiku felt the same. If time was to freeze in place and he was left here with Heracles, on this roof, forever, it would be just fine with him. But it could not last forever. In fact, it would not even last an hour. A bomb of painful realization went off in his heart and Kiku laid his head against Heracles's chest, searching for a beat, searching for sanity. He closed his eyes, suddenly dizzy, and focused on breathing. _One…two…three…_

"Are you ready?" Heracles sounded anything but.

Kiku did not open his eyes, because he couldn't. He answered honestly. "No."

"Good." Heracles brushed a strand of Kiku's hair from his eyes. "Neither am I." He leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, and just like everything else, it felt to be in slow motion. Kiku wished he could slow it down even more. But of course it had to end, and his heart nearly stopped when Heracles walked towards the ledge in three careful steps.

No, it was too soon, too soon… Kiku's throat went dry, and he could only whisper, "Heracles, I…"

He was too quiet to be heard, but that did not matter because all Heracles did was sit down. He lowered himself to the concrete and swung his legs nonchalantly, dangerously over the edge. "Come sit with me, Kiku." He said it as if this was no big deal, or maybe he was simply ignoring the truth.

Kiku could barely breathe as he watched Heracles, simple movements away from falling into oblivion. He only remembered how to move when he realized Heracles was staying perfectly still, not threatening to leave him alone in the madness. Though his legs felt numb, he took a few trembling steps and sat next to him. Heracles must have sensed his hesitance, because he rested his hand on Kiku's knee when he brought his legs over the ledge. He was almost okay until he looked down. Then, Kiku was hit with a wave of sudden, intense vertigo. "That is…far," he whispered.

"I know." Heracles lifted Kiku's chin, guiding his eyes away from the sight. "It is best not to think about it."

"How do you not think about it?" Kiku was half terrified, half simply incredulous.

Heracles shrugged, his eyes drifting to the horizon. "Think about other things," he said. "Like cats."

The statement was far too normal, too simple. Kiku was not sure if the fact Heracles was still managing to think about cats made him want to laugh or cry, so he simply maintained a neutral expression. "I suppose I can try."

"Think about how much I love you."

And that statement was almost as normal, but not nearly as simple. It would take Kiku a year to mentally sort through all he and Heracles had been through and what they felt for each other. It would take him even longer to imagine all the things they could have gone through in the future, but he avoided the thought. It hurt too much. Besides, why focus on the blank pages when he could enjoy what was already written? "Okay," he said. "I think I will."

And again the silence. Kiku was used to these kinds of comfortable, introspective silences. Usually they hardly meant anything. Today it meant absolutely everything. Kiku withdrew completely into himself, and he lived his entire life in mere moments. He could not even hear the screams, could not smell the blood hanging in the air. He saw only sparks of light. When he felt Heracles cup his cheek, he realized there was no place he would rather be than this rooftop. It took only seconds to open his eyes again. _One…two…three…_

When he opened his eyes, Heracles was close. Not close enough. "Think about this." His quiet words dissolved into the red sky, he closed his green eyes. When their lips met, there was only blinding white.

Kiku usually kept his hands to his sides during moments like this. This time, he held onto Heracles like he was the only thing keeping him from falling off the building. He held him as if the touch of his skin would be enough to stop this, as if the sky would turn blue and the sun would come back if only he held him tight enough. The kiss was years of memory and commitment and feeling condensed into one desperate, explosive moment. Kiku did not notice he had stopped breathing until they broke away. He did not notice the hot tears rolling helplessly down his face, either.

Heracles ran his hands down Kiku's shoulders, firmly but not enough to hurt. Besides, nothing could hurt more than what was about to happen. "Are you ready?"

Like water rushing from a broken dam, Kiku no longer felt peace. He looked at the drop beneath their dangling feet, his stomach tightening into painful knots and a new set of tears burning his eyes. Just like the first time, he could only answer honestly. "No."

Heracles took his hand and squeezed it hard enough to hide both their trembling. Just like the first time, he said, "Neither am I."

Kiku wanted to call it off, to run back down the steps with him and either find shelter or fight like everyone else in the world. But he knew neither of them wanted to do that, and in the end, this was truly the only option. Soon, either the building would collapse or the infected would take their lives for them. At least this way, it would be by their own accord.

But these rationalizations did nothing to stop Kiku's tears, did not stop the overwhelming dread that only intensified. No matter how hard he tried, nothing could make this seem fair or undisturbed or sane. No, not like this. It was not supposed to end like this. It was supposed to be decades from now, when he and Heracles were comfortable and together. So many pages were not supposed to be left blank, their story was not supposed to come to an end so abrupt and ugly. But this was it. It was the only option. Only four words were left. "I love you, Heracles."

"I love you too." Heracles let out a long, shaking breath as he pulled both of them to their feet. "So much, Kiku." Their fingers intertwined, and Kiku felt his heart nearly explode in his chest. He tried to breathe, but the air was stolen from him as Heracles took a step closer to the edge, to the end. Kiku could only follow.

Heracles met his eyes, obviously distressed but just as obviously trying to be strong. "I will see you again, Kiku. I know I will."

"I know." Kiku closed his eyes briefly, let out one of his last breaths. "On three?"

Heracles hesitated for a beat before nodding once, as slowly as the action could be done. "On three."

"One." Kiku let a last tear fall, one last memory passing before his eyes.

Heracles ran his thumb across the back of Kiku's hand. "Two."

Time stopped in its tracks. They were standing on the brink, one last chance to avoid this staring them in the face. But with the world what it was now, the end was unavoidable. There was no sense trying to run from it. So, in two flat voices that might as well have been one, they said, "Three."

Kiku was hardly even aware it had happened before there was rushing air beneath his feet rather than concrete. But he still felt Heracles's hand in his, the very last thing he would ever cling to and take comfort in. He would not have it any other way. He did not wish to see the dark sky, so he closed his eyes and imagined colors more desirable- green eyes, brown cats, red-hot emotion and blue skies from long ago. Within moments he was flying, not falling. Still, he could sense the ground growing closer. In a split second before impact, and felt Heracles's hair brush his skin. _One…two…three…_

The pain was not meant to be felt. Kiku was not supposed to feel his bones snapping. He knew his breathing should have stopped instantly, not take what felt like decades dying in his lungs. He was not supposed to open his eyes to see what was left of Heracles lying crumbled in a pool of unforgiving red. Though Kiku could not see his chest or face, he knew he was not breathing. This had worked better for him, and Kiku knew, somewhere in the back of his jumbled mind, that Heracles was not witnessing this. For a second, through the searing pain of his broken body and the blood in his mouth, he felt almost…happy. Sparks of light twinkled in the corners of his vision; he knew this would not last long. He was just unlucky.

_One…_

Kiku managed to fight through the blackness encircling him enough to see their hands were still joined, though the fingers were managed and misshapen. The touch of their palms was the last normal thing in this cruel moment of abnormality.

_Two…_

Kiku could not see any longer. He could not breathe very well, either. That was okay. He had his memories, his promises, his dreams. In the final seconds, Kiku saw Heracles one last time. And he realized he missed him already.

_Three._


End file.
